too many steps in the gay direction.

Last weekend, probably three dozen queers gathered to march through the downtown, the grand finale to our Pride week – of course, the parade. Which, in a city this size, attracts fewer people than the pay phone at one end of the route, and the port-a-potty at the other. Despite being an active advocate for gay rights, I was not among the select few pounding the pavement, or even watching from the sidelines – Pride week came and went, and the only activity you would have seen me partaking in was a drink at our one and only gay bar – but truthfully, it was in the neighborhood, and the festivities were not the draw that led me in the front door.

I guess my stance is one that us gays aren’t ’supposed’ to take, but to this day, I’m still uncertain as to whether extravagant and flamboyant Pride parades help or hinder the advancement of gay equality, on any level – be it here in this city, this province, or even this country. We have the liberty of living in a laid-back, socially-oriented country, where there is very little that we collectively frown upon. Us gays can live together, be open about our sexuality, and even get married, all without the fear of prosecution or execution. Our country is the house on the block that always throws the big parties, and everyone is invited, regardless of their walk of life.

Which leads me to question why these marches and demonstrations are still necessary. Why have they lived on when all of the reasons for them to take place have been satisfied? There is virtually nothing in our institution as a nation that is no longer accessible to us because we are homosexuals – we have, more or less, reached parity with our heterosexual brothers and sisters, so why is it required that we continue to smear it like shit across their faces, and bleed via television into the living rooms of those who still hold on to the more conservative end of the values spectrum?

It is my belief that no one in the history of humanity was persuaded into thinking that us gays are just like every other human being, because we paraded down the street dressed like women, or wearing little to no clothes at all to draw attention to our cause? We have a reputation for going over the top, perhaps, but literally licking the faces off of each other, while waving a rainbow flag like it’s some kind of revolutionary symbol of victory only fanned the flames of the obstacles we have faced on the journey to recognition. Basically, we rebelled, and the government of our country played the part of the conceding parents, who essentially said ‘okay, you can have what you want’. And that was that. The end. We had won.

So, then, for what do these members of the gay community continue to march? Is it an appeal to our final few critics to just accept that we’re here to stay? Is it an attempt to instigate something new to fight over, since the abrupt arrival of our deus ex machina? Or is it simply an opportunity to prance around like a fairy and make a complete ass of yourself? The grand irony of it all is that, for years, our defense against discriminatory attacks was ‘we’re just like you – we are no different, we are entitled to the same rights’. Yet the message of pride parades and celebrations is ‘I’m so fucking excessively proud of the fact that I’m different! We are fundamentally different than the rest of the population and therefore I shall wave this flag!’. At one point does pride become hubris? At what point do we decide what to do with our cake now that we have it?

What would happen if, a couple months from now, a heterosexual pride parade were to take place somewhere in the country. There would be war! These same members of the gay community would cry wolf about prejudice, discrimination, straight supremacy, and everything else under the sun. Therefore, why is it okay for us to do it, but not them? When we do it, it’s a celebration of our rights – but if they were to do it, it would be an attempt to suppress them?

While ultimate equality maybe isn’t quite reached – we can still be called fags without consequence, screened out from a job selection process for being ‘too’ gay, and get glaring looks from the four thousand year-olds on the street – but these are the kinds of discrimination that everybody, regardless of their sexual orientation or background, will always face from members of our own genus family. There are some mentalities that we will simply never be able to persuade, and no amount of appeals or debates or parades will make a shred of difference. We can pound the pavement through to China, and not change one mind. Well, if we drilled through the earth with our bare feet, I hope we would snag at least ONE from the fence – but you get the idea.

Before I ever step foot in a pride parade, I will need to be convinced that they still have an important role to play in our ever-changing society. I don’t need to remind the world around me that I’m gay, or that gay rights deserve attention – these are statements that I make every day that I wake up, simply by leading my lifestyle that just so happens to be a queer one. Until then, I’ll avoid the procession altogether, and question why some of my brothers and sisters just don’t know when to shut up.

Far too much work and sacrifice, over too many years, went into baking this cake to overindulge and keep eating long after we’ve reached our fill.

~ by glamnesia on August 10, 2008.